Depression in 2015

I never thought that I will have depression since I am quite a happy go lucky kind of person. But since yesterday morning, I was feeling so down.Probably people around me are changing while I still stay at the same place+made shitty decision in love by saying something which I didnt mean it and hurt the one I love and caused he is swaying away from me. Probably my self esteem is really too low until I have lost my confidence and made such silly move.

Now I understand why depressed people shout and cry out of sudden. I saw an article which a fren sent to me this morning. People with depression will act happier or more excited in front of family and friends, just to show them he/she is OK. That exactly hit it in my case. But when I am alone, i just feel like crying out loud. I've been asking myself why and how I can be one like this. I started to hate myself, started to feel like to be away from everyone. 

I don't want to continue to feel this way.So I went to check on a gym which nearby my house,and decided to join them soon. At least by doing something healthy which can let me release my stress is way much better than sitting alone at home. Cross fingers I will be a happy girl again very soon.